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January 5, 2008
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According to :iconhermiethefrog:, download to read. :D I'll 'fix' it whenever DA decides to play nice and let this system work again.

Here you are, please remember to comment if you enjoyed it! Critiques are HIGHLY appreciated and will be responded to with lavish praise and servitude.

Clean version up on fanfiction: [link]

I have GOT to use fewer italics.

BTW, I didn't win my bet about the italics. The first time I uploaded it, NONE of the words showed up!!

-Cori

Story is mine, do not copy, reproduce, or use without my permission! DP belongs to Butch Hartman.
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:iconearthstarunicorn:
EarthStarUnicorn Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2009
I don't get it. Why cheese? I love how Tucker was so worried about Danny's absence and Sam being sick that he totally skipped over the realization that Valerie could see the little spirits and Danny. Now Valerie is pissed and confused. LoL!
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:iconcordria:
cordria Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
I'm not sure why cheese... but yes. Cheese. :XD:

-Cori
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:icondisneyfreak16:
disneyfreak16 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2008
are they going to find out!!!??? pleaz tell me his parents are going to find out:excited: awsome chapter, cant wait to read more:clap::dance::w00t:
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:iconcordria:
cordria Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
XD I know if they find out... but I"m not going to tell you. You'll have to wait until I write more. HOPEFULLY *crosses fingers* now that I have lots of free time I'll get out a chapter to a story every two-three days.

-Cori
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:icondisneyfreak16:
disneyfreak16 Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2008
ooh, evil. :XD: just kidding. i love where your going with this story and i look forward to reading the rest
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:iconcordria:
cordria Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
^_^

-Cori
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:iconkaliphantom:
KaliPhantom Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
Canon's actually not very clear about who teaches what and when. It's totally within your rights to mess around, especially since a lot of schools have class rotation systems… As for the science class, I don't know how the American system is, but up here we don't generally get specialized science courses until Grade 11. Before then, the classes teach a bunch of them in a row, so biology, then chemistry, physics, astronomy, geology, ecology, etc., and they're taught in a general science room with all sorts of different supplies… and I totally don't have a thing for ellipses either. :paranoid:

Heh, thanks for the props. :hug: It was just an idea to get you started, so it's fine that you've changed it to work better with the story. Good job of it!

Ways to see ghosts… night vision goggles? Adapted goggles? Infrared/extra-visual spectrum camera wired to his glasses?

I think the humans-as-food thing does come across, though maybe it could be a little clearer. :shrug: Don't know how, though, and repeating the idea elsewhere is just going to seem redundant. Works well enough, and it's that "smart reader" thing again a bit too.

Yes, I think Hell as gates in most traditional renderings of it, and it's generally capitalized too, just like "God" is.

I wouldn't worry about the time skips. It's a time-honoured literary technique, and you're right, you can't give every single second of every day. *sigh* I wish more people would understand that. You're allowed to jump around and it makes for a better story.

*gives a standing ovation for Dan and runs off*

Sam's :frog thing: was an activist thing. She didn't want real frogs dissected because it's mean to them (see: vegetarian and environmentalist). She proposed mechanical frogs, Lancer refused, she stole the frogs, they got loose, she got caught, and Lancer somewhat relented and let the mechanical frogs be an option. :)

… And didn't I say Aramaic/Hebrew, not Arabic? They're related but different languages, and it's Aramaic and/or Hebrew, not quite sure, that would've been spoken in Jerusalem. I'm just a treasure trove of info, aren't I? :roll: Now that I think about it, I guess they could have learned Yiddish anti-mortem from other Jewish ghosts.

Yes, I'd thought about the Dairy King. That's gonna be fun! :mwahaha:

You know, I just assumed is was a macaroni and cheese casserole. Didn't even realize you hadn't said "cheese" until I read the note about it.

~Kali
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:iconcordria:
cordria Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah... good point about the classes. I was in 'general science' until 11th grade too. Very good point. Neither of us thought of that during out 'chemistry/biology' debate. More than likely because Meli was in advanced classes and actually TOOK a specialized science class in ninth grade. *sigh* You need to be part of our arguments, I think. You end up solving a lot of them.

I've soooo figured out a way for him to see ghosts. And other things. :excited: I thought of it about fifteen minutes ago as I was lying in bed and then I ran to my computer to write it down and I got distracted by checking my messages on DA and now I hope I don't forget it while writing by really long, run-on sentence that I just realized I was writing. :D

Thank you for the helpful comments. :hug: I appreciate it and I really hope my readers are 'smart' because I'm not repeating myself.

Dan will be back. :D

Yeah... that's what Meli kind of said abou the frogs. 'Cept she said it in a round-about fashion that involved more quotes from the show and a running dialoge than anything else.

I have no idea what you said about the Yiddish thing. XD I got caught by a couple different people and you may as well have said Aramaic or Hebrew. Same thing goes: I don't speak Aramaic or Hebrew... so my vulture-ghosty pals will continue speaking Yiddish. Assume they learned it 'anti-mortem' (a term I just love and I WILL be borrowing, btw)

I thnk most people figured out the casserole at the end had cheese in it. I just added that because quite a few people sent in reviews and seemed confused about if Vlad was reacting to cheese and Danny was reacting to 'casseroles'. :shrug: Oh well.

Thanks for the comment! Now, I need to go write down my idea and then post the next chapter...

-Cori
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:iconkaliphantom:
KaliPhantom Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
Heh, yeah. It's sometimes hard to think back that far when you're used to a different system of education, isn't it? They start blurring…

Great! That's awesome! :dance: I hope you haven't forgotten it either.

You're welcome for the comments. Anytime. :hug: I'm sure they are smart, at least most of them. High quality writers attract high quality readers.

lol I've got a friend who does that too, and if you'd rather, I could do it as well. ;p I prefer giving short summaries, though. The point comes through better…

Eh, short of looking back through your reviews and comments, I doubt we'll ever know, not that it ultimately matters. I didn't realize others had called you on it too. Anti-mortem language acquisition it is then. (And yes, feel free to use that word. It's not really mine. I just gave it a new meaning.)

That's … odd. :O_o: Ah well, hope you cleared it up.

Good luck with the next chapter!

~Kali
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:iconcordria:
cordria Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
*snicker* I'm having a horrible time responding to comments. I'm watching episodes of 'firefly' this morning. :D I keep getting distracted.

Thanks for the comments. And the other comments. :) And all of that.

I've forgotten what I was repying to say. So I'll leave that and get back to watching 'Firefly'. :hug:

-Cori
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